Race to Christmas

Race to Christmas

In the “Battle of the Model vs. the Midget”, the Midget prevailed. The Midget permanently ended all the “Who’s the best?” arguments and that must have made the Model’s nicely gelled hair stand straight with envy. The Midget run faster (even with shorter legs), jumped higher (have you seen the guy’s size?) and smiled more (and he’s not even the good-looking one). Just like the ones before, there can only be one “greatest” per generation. When you are up for the greatest in your generation, the trick is to play in different leagues from your competitors, apart from the one or two odd Champions League meeting. Avoid them totally so the comparison can never be complete. The Model did not get the trick early, and went off to the exposure of the La Liga. Now it’s all settled, no more hat-trick contests!

The excitement of pre-Christmas football is as good as end-of-season. Everyone wants to be the team to finish the first half of the season on top. Even though you could end the other half at the bottom, it gives you a false sense that you are halfway to championship. It could also be a tough time, especially if you are in the situation Chelsea finds itself. Dates with Spurs, Man United and Arsenal – in that order – isn’t fun to think of, especially at a time when the team seem to have run out of steam (and it’s freaking winter too!). Now there are only 3 points separating the top 4 teams, with Man United having a game in hand (thanks to Blackpool’s frozen pitch). This is a sharp contrast to the Bundesliga table, where Dortmund has taken a 10 point lead, and the season isn’t even halfway yet! Reminds me of the Ghanaian league about a decade ago, when Accra Hearts of Oak could almost win the league halfway to end, hehehe. It’s still tight at the top of the La Liga, with 2 points separating Barca and Madrid. Who knows, the Model could have the last laugh in May 2011.There are many legends of famous training ground and dressing room pep talks. There’s even a comedy movie made on Rafa Benitez and his legendary half-time pep talk in Istanbul 2005, at a time his Liverpool team were 3 goals down against Milan. His players came back and cancelled all 3 goals to become European Champions on penalties. They say it’s the greatest half-time pep talk of all time. So Harry Redknapp took a cue. He knew Spurs had not beaten Arsenal in 17 years. So he huddled his player together after training and told them the following lies:
“It’s wide open this league this year, it’s wide open. Chelsea are not as good as they were; Man United are not as good as they were three or four years ago. They’re still excellent teams but they’re not the force they were. They were almost invincible, the pair of them. I think Tottenham are now getting closer and the championship is wide open. Why can’t you win the championship? Who says you can’t? It’s wide open for somebody who can put a run together. It’s there for someone to have real go at it this year. Why should we all be fearful and keep saying, ‘We can’t win it’? I wouldn’t be saying it if we had a bad group of players. I’m a realist; I’m not dreaming. It’s difficult to do but it’s not impossible. This is the best chance anyone’s going to get this year. There’s very little to choose between the top five or six teams at the moment.”

Guess what? They actually believed him! So when they were down by 2 goals at the Emirates, they had enough mental strength to fight back to win 3-2. The thing about this trick is that, you can only use it once. When Spurs don’t win the league this season (which is definitely what is going down, hehehe), then Harry needs to craft new lies, which won’t be easy. But there’s always a way out: TALK TO STEPHEN IRELAND. The guy once lied to the Irish FA that his maternal grandmother (who raised him) was dead, just so he can get out of a football match. The kind FA gave him a private jet to take him home to mourn. Then it was discovered that the granny was still alive. So he changed the dead subject to his paternal grandmother, who he claim he wasn’t so close to anyway and wouldn’t have bothered if he knew earlier. But the other old lady got angry about it, so he swiped his last card: his divorced grandfather’s girlfriend!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *